Add HIV status on profile

boy85x shared this idea 22 months ago
In Review

Add on "Sexual & fetish info" the statemant about HIV status (positive, negative and maybe On PrEP, ect...) and the date of the last test done

Comments (18)

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45

Definitely a good idea. Normalising and removing the burden of disclosure

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34

I support the idea that HIV-positive guys should have an easy way to disclose that information without having to do it via message over and over again. But I find the option to state that one is HIV-negative rather problematic, since it does in no way inform another user what reasoning led to this assumption. It's just not a very good idea to facilitate a false sense of security.

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19

Well I think the only way to know whether or not you are HIV-negative is by getting tested, so stating that you have got tested negative last on a certain date makes it clear to everyone looking at your status how much time has passed since then.


If you date someone who is very sexual active, you surely want to make sure that last test is not from last year ago and of course the only way to have real safer sex is still by using a condom of course, but everyone knows how much "exceptions" even gays who prefer safer sex make and how much condoms supposedly ripped apart from the power of using it while having just sex...


Of course you can not be sure that any status is correct (anymore), but I think it is a lot harder to justify giving a false status in the profile than it is to just lie about it in a chat or real life. And even a false sense of security is better than not talking about it at all, because everyone knows you still can lie in your status (Romeo should inform about that fact of course in an info bubble or something like that).


Getting reminded about when you have got tested last would still help spread awareness about HIV, so it doesn't matter if on the downside you still have to deal with the same irresponsible and lying gays as before, because this fact alone that gays would get reminded more often would be enough of a plus to make this feature go live as soon as possible.

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35

- This is a very private information

- Might lead to more barebacking

- There could be additional pressure to get tested frequently, even if there has not been a possibly dangerous situation etc.

- Some might use possibly unreliable "home tests"

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40

More tested people would lead to more awareness to HIV and will help to extinguish the sickness :) because people would be more carefull with the people who they have sex with.

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24

-No-one said that you HAVE TO enter the information. You may still keep it private.


-What's wrong about getting tested frequently? (Except for costs for the health care system - which are minimal compared to the costs a potential infection will cause)

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22

If that field is here, many people probably expect it to be filled out, as many demand a photo to be shown to the general public. "No HIV status - no chat" - the new "no pic no chat"?

And a lot of barebackers will probably search for "negative" and rely on it.

Of course there could be promotions to get tested "just to be really sure" and not just in some important situations, but not like this.

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20

No chat no pic is a totally different thing. You want to chat with someone real and not with one of the thousand anonymous fakers, so a picture is a must, cause profiles without pictures tend to be used by fakers mostly and those who want to stay private know they have to send a picture with their first message to make a good impression and to be even considered as real.

I wouldn't write with someone without a picture, but I would still write with someone without a HIV status, but then probably one of the first thing I would do is ask him about it, cause I don't like to date someone who is not on medication and wants to spread HIV or date someone who was tested negative several years ago though he has sex with daily changing partners.

Also, swalsal, with your sentence "There could be additional pressure to get tested frequently" you make it seem like that is something not to be desired. I mean its certainly not like you get any health issues by getting tested or need to inject some aluminum salts, mercury or other toxins into your body and fear to get crippled after that. Instead by getting tested frequently you know you are healthy and if not you can make sure that you don't spread HIV to others unknowingly.

Barebackers have bareback sex no matter what you write in your profile and if they are not cautious right now it doesn't matter that they will rely on something written in a profile, cause they already made the decision to have unsafe sex. While barebackers probably will make the same unsafe decisions as before, everyone else would benefit big from the fact that gays will get tested more frequently and if someone does not want to get tested, at least he gets confronted more often with the topic and will hopefully think twice about making stupid decisions.

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21

I am seronegative and I work in a NGO which fights against HIV. We promote the privacy and we consider this info isn't relevant for a dating app.


It would be great if we lived in a world where people can talk about their serostatus without troubles, but the reality makes of that issue another reason to discriminate. When someone publishes that is seropositive (or hides his serostatus when the app offers to publish it), the possibility to get to know new people through his profile is dramatically smaller.


Everybody knows today that it can be more dangerous to have sex with a person who hasn't tested himself for a long time, than a seropositive person who has the virus under control with medication. That makes the info in the app useless.


People should give information about his seropositive status when they get to know the other person and there is already and intimacy between them, not publish it on internet.

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20

@Enola: Besides that I think "fighting" is never good, shouldn't you not find it a good thing if gays are reminded more often to test themselves because of a feature like this? I mean everyone who wants to to have their status stay private can do so nonetheless, but everyone else profits from a feature that reminds you when you have got tested negative last. And if you are not negative anymore, you can either not update your status anymore (which I would consider as lying), hide your status or show others that you are a responsible guy who is in therapy or even better under medication for a long time and already undetectable (which I would consider nearly as safe as having sex with a HIV negative guy, as long as he does not stop taking his medication).


This feature would take the burden to talk about the status on every chat or date and in my experience most of the time this subject is really the last thing gays want to talk about, so it would be a lot better to know it beforehand. At least I dislike to chat or meet gays who are dishonest, gays that think they need to hide anything or want to spread aids on purpose and I have met many gays that I think are negative who felt like I insulted them just because I asked them about their HIV status.


A status in the profile would make it possible to hopefully date more of the honest and responsible guys who know that only getting tested regularly and getting in therapy early can hopefully stop HIV altogether someday.

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18

Dear Anonymous,


the world that you describe would be great, where people think exactly as you mention, that for example it's safer having sex with seropositive guys on therapy than with a guy who is never tested, or that people who get in therapy are honest and responsible. But unfortunately our community has other understanding of the HIV issue, because being seropositive is still a stigma. Actually, as you surely know, being seropositive doesn't affect your health as much as your social acceptation because of the stigma. Stigma through which people think that "seropositive" is far from concepts that you name like "responsibility" or "safe sex".


Those many guys (who you say that you felt like you insulted them just for asking) are an example of people who believe and follow the stigma. If they react like that when you ask them what their HIV status is, how would they react when a guy, who has in his profile "seropositive", talk to them?


Of course, for us seronegative guys, it is not a problem that a dating app includes that option "HIV positive / HIV negative". The problem is for people who suffer the discrimination, and with that option they are denounced (like Jewish with the yellow star during nazism). Because it is not an info like "my fetish" or "which food I like". Actually it's an info who is just relevant to the patient, the person living with his diagnosis ;)


PS: Seriously, I love having this discussion about privacy with an user whose nick is "Anonymous" <3

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23

@Enola: I have never said it is "safer" to have sex with guys who are positive but undetectable because of medication, I only said I would consider it "nearly as safe" as having sex with a guy who is negative, because you obviously only need to fear your sex-partner has not taken his medication regularly after he become undetectable and of course he still could have gotten other sexual transmitted diseases.


"But unfortunately our community has other understanding of the HIV issue" I totally agree and that is why I think a feature like proposed is much needed to reduce the stigma, because right now it seems to be a taboo to even talk about the HIV status, which I think is awful. Especially if you get overly negative reactions and/or aggression just for asking! The only way to reduce the stigma is to make it a normal thing to talk about HIV and a normal thing to give your status without asking and that is why I think Romeo should introduce the status on the profile as an optional entry while at the same time create a FAQ when it is safe to have sex and when it is from a scientific standpoint at least nearly as safe to have sex with a positive guy. I would like to see Romeo explain every HIV status like the Hornet app does for example, where it is already normal to state when you have been tested negative last.


Every HIV positive guy has to decide for himself if he wants to share his status, but negative guys getting tested more because they get reminded more often will hopefully help reduce new infections big time and therefore reduce the number of guys that need to fear discrimination. It should be optional to give your HIV status, so everyone who thinks it is better to not state his HIV status can hide under the mass of guys who neither want to talk about HIV nor give their status, probably because they never get tested. So in my opinion it only gives you the possibility to "come out of the closet" and be open about your HIV status, but it is not a must. Normalizing being open about it is the only way to reduce the stigma, because it creates the room, an atmosphere, to talk or be open about it, but it is not forced.


And honestly, I know this does not stop discrimination, but I know a lot of guys who got positive are the biggest liars, so no compassion for them from me, because they made the decision to have bare sex with strangers. My ex for example supposedly became positive in our partnership, so he must have had HIV before or must have fucked with other guys without me knowing, because I luckily was still HIV negative on every test afterwards. After he made out with strangers he should have had himself get tested first, but instead he even once said he wanted to spread it to me, can you imagine that?! So I think being more open about HIV in general would help a lot to circle out those dangerous liars! Everyone who is responsible by getting in therapy early shouldn't face any discrimination at all. Only those untruthful liars that stay in the dark and have harmful thoughts should face discrimination until they get themselves tested regularly or on medication too.


I don't like your nazi comparison at all, because Jews clearly had no choice, and it certainly ridicules the inhuman crimes of national socialism which cannot be compared to this subject. For me making nazi comparisons means you don't have any real arguments anymore and I honestly wonder if your "fight" in your NGO is really doing any good for the gay community, if you need to draw such a nonsense comparison.


The normal way should be having safer sex by using condoms always and if you want to have bare sex you should be able to talk about the HIV status, know when the other guy got tested last and on a date you should be able to see his last test, but right now it is not even possible to know when he supposedly got tested last, because it is not normal to give such data. You don't stop infections without making informed decisions. Just getting fucked by everyone, no matter if he is positive or negative, because otherwise you wouldn't get fucked at all, should not be the normal way it goes. Someone who repeatedly tells you he is negative but cannot even give you his last test black on white on a paper should never be trusted. I had to learn this the hard way and got out of it luckily, but I think that is the way how many get infected: in a partnership where they think they can trust each other, because everything else is just plain stupid, for example to have unprotected sex with strangers in my opinion.


All this hiding and lying is the reason number one in my opinion why there are still so many infections.


And besides: I had my PlanetRomeo user name here until a twisted guy wrote false accusations about me after I chatted with him in private about his wishes he posted here, because I seriously wanted to know why he had a problem and wanted to understand him better and see if I can solve the underlying real problem, which was obviously reasoned in his twisted view of things which only he could change. PlanetRomeo did nothing better than to delete parts of the discussion after he constantly complained after I told the truth about how it is and then they even merged everything so it made me look like the bad guy, which made me pull the plug and go anonymous too. I don't have to hide myself, because over 90 % of the times I stand behind what I wrote. Yes I make mistakes too, but someone who puts his middle finger in his first profile photo and then complains about people harassing him and then writes wishes to Romeo to make them stop people "harassing" him on several voting accounts here was simply ridiculous. Romeo failed to create and maintain a space where only real users can wish and vote, like Romeo fails to create a community where people don't have to "fight" each other all the time.


I think this whole discussion is so unneeded, Romeo should just implement it like other apps and everyone should decide for themselves to either use it and spread awareness or stay in the closet and make the discrimination stay forever. If gays wouldn't have open up and spoken about our problems, we probably still wouldn't have marriage for gays. So I think comparable to that everyone who thinks he is being discriminated against should be more open and honest about his status and spread the knowledge that you can also have safer sex with positive guys that are undetectable because of them taking medications.


We shouldn't have a community anymore where it is easier to stay in the dark and be dishonest all the time then it is to be open and honest.

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20

Bonjour


Il serait possible de mettre un statut " négatif sous PrEP "

Merci

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24

People lie anyway. Always use a condom. Even with the sexiest, cutest guy that seems totally honest to you.

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I agree that adding a sexual health section is a good one. Someone who is +undetectable, for example, could flag his status right away with no need to awkwardly disclose it in his profile text. A visitor to the profile could take such information into account right away before contacting that specific user. Adding a field for last test dates (similar to the way that Grindr and Hornet are handling it) is also a good idea. And yes, of course, none of that is legally binding and subject to later personal verification. As is pretty much everything we post about ourselves in our profiles.

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I'd like to add such things to my profile... The current known HIV status with positive / negative / on PrEP / unknown stats with the date of the last tests are really great idea... but as I see it was requested almost two years ago so sadly no one cares about it.

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I don’t know if that is a great idea. We all know about data thefts (as there has been with competing gay social media platforms) – I don’t want random people or even criminals to know my status. If you want to tell you can write it in your profile text.

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that’s the same thing with all the data on your profile. you were never forced to fill and show those to others but some might find it useful.

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